Homesickness Pt.2

Its an eerie feeling leaving the comforts of ones home. At least it is to me, I actually knew that my “homesickness” would be worse this time around, partially because I got to experience Thanksgiving with my family which made me nostalgic for Christmas and New Years. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to grow up, I wish that I could freeze frame my life on maybe, Junior Year of high school.

Why junior year? This was the only year that I can think of where my life made sense…I had goals, dreams and a whole lot of ambition…and I was home.

I always enjoy family gatherings, this Thanksgiving was rather interesting for me though because I felt like a stranger in my childhood home. Its as if I was frozen and everything around me had fast forwarded so fast that I totally lost track of the plot. My little cousins on my dad and aunts side, who are college age now, are overly consumed with material things…for example my one cousin works in the jewelry business and owns 2 mustangs…he has been with his girlfriend for a little over a year now and they have bought an apartment together…I mean really all this at the age of 20, I was definitely not ready to move out at that age!

Of course something that always makes me miss home, are my friends. I love them to death and miss them sooo much when I am in camphill, a lot more this year than last, as I havent really formed any strong bonds this year.

So yeah the denial has started to set in, the tears keep welling, and my soul seems to be in turmoil!