It IS InTeReStInG!

Its interesting how life can take many twists and turns. I mean 1 1/2 years ago I definitely wasn't where I am now. I was lost, thats not to say that I'm not lost now because I AM, its a different type of lost now though. Before, I was lost in just where my life was going...it is still similar I mean i have no clue as to where I will be 2 years from now; let alone 5. When I was little I thought I had my life all planned out for me. I would become this big broadway star, date alot of men, adopt a few russian children and then when my children were old enough to take care of themselves I would become a nun...its funny how NUN has always been in the equation.
Currently, I volunteer for a living and I love every second of it..I wouldnt change the experiences I have had for anything in the world. I love the fact that I am not really worrying about money or the other little petty details of life.
I live in a Camphill community (http://www.camphill.org/) where I live, as well as, work with people who have developmental disabilities. It can be strenuous and very time consuming but I dont mind, as i have always been a person who loves to stay busy...but when is too much too much. I mean I guess its when you realize you dont have time to be you, or who you think you are at least. This year in particular has started with a bumpy start, well last year wasnt a picnic either, though the two of them side by side are interesting as last year I learned alot about myself..i suppose just surface wise..I didnt know that i could stand back and let people rule my life but i did, it hurt alot because i have always been overly outspoken! This year I am learning alot about myself on the inside...not to say that I have changed, which I have BUT I am just learning things all over again this year. The number one thing I have learned is that YOU have to have time for yourself or you will go insane!

There is a reason behind this ranting...the reason is the simple fact that at this juncture in my life I am not sure whether I should join a religious community or not. Now, this thought has popped into my head at least once a year for the past 5 years but this year it has been rather consistant..so this is in fact my DISCERNMENT BLOG...if there is anybody out there who is willing to offer advice to this currently lost soul please feel free

Smile,
Crys